Longest Day Ever...Longest Blog Ever
first off, i'd like to give a hearty thanks, jackass to whoever scheduled the storm of the century for my three-day weekend. having said that, let's review what's been going on here over the course of the last three snowbound days:
-thanked god that i have 844 cable channels. cursed his name when i remembered that there is never anything worth watching on any of them. seriously, not a single one. put on telemundo and hit the mute button. left it on like that for hours. no idea why.
- stared into pantry looking for something to eat. see nothing appealing, despite enormous amount of food. close pantry door. open pantry door again moments later, as if pantry elves would have magically replenished food supply with yummy pre-prepared goodness. stunning disappointment. evidently, pantry elves are without four-wheel drive vehicle.
- spent 20 minutes layering clothing onto body in preparation for going outside to snap even more artsy snow photos [ed. note: but these would be nighttime photos. totally different than the previous daytime437 snow photos.].I managed to get myself out the door [dispite the fact that when i *brilliantly* opened the sliding door, 18 inches of snow fell into my kitchen, which i tried to *push* back in, while yelling (at the snow) No!No!NO! Go Back!!Fuck you snow!" -theres an enjoyable mental picture for ya- ] into the freezing-ass night only to discover that the battery in my digital camera is kaput after having snapped 437 snow photos earlier that day.
- blogger: errors publishing new posts. yahoo games: page cannot load me: trying to send hate mail to both services, and having aneurysm because, after pressing send, i receive a message that the hotmail server is too busy to send my message.
-briefly consider taking more snow pictures to distract myself.
i did learn one very important thing, though: never underestimate the simple goodness of a bacon sandwich. at some point in my life, somebody convinced me to stop eating bacon.
probably for health reasons or some such nonsense.
whatever, people.
bacon is the nectar of the gods and i shall never again be denied its smoky goodness.
well, one of my neighbors parked beside me is not only inconsiderate, but also stupid.
a combination which, in this case, worked to my advantage. i’ve suspected that they are all one french frie short a happy meal for a while now, but when she decided to start shoveling snow at about 10:00 last night, it didn't take long for my suspicions to be confirmed.
first, she shoved all the snow that was behind her car about four feet to the left so it is now behind my car. (I park on the street because if i park in the driveway my parents cant back out, she parks on the street for absolutely no reason) clearly- inconsiderate- not necessarily stupid.
then, in what can only be described as an action so stupid that it makes your brain hurt if you think about it for any length of time at all...she proceeded to pile the snow that was beside her car behind her car.
seriously. behind her own car.
so, now she can get in her car. she just can’t back it out of its parking space.
i imagine her getting all bundled up and getting in her car. then just sitting there and making vroom-vroom noises. maybe she even takes an imaginary friend with her on her little drive. and then they turn on the radio and sing along with hang on sloopy while they drive to…new mexico. and, while they're driving, they see this little taco place, and they decide to stop, because they both want to try a fish taco and they've never had one before but they hear they're amazing, but it seems to be taking a long time for their order to get ready, so they just speed away [vrooooom] and the manager of the taco place comes running out as they speed off, and he’s shaking his fist in the air at them and shouting in spanish. but she and her imaginary friend just toss their heads back and laugh about which one of them is thelma and which one is louise.
Wow i really need to get out of the house...
so, anyway, i won’t be able to move my satanic car until the spring thaw. but, hey, there’s nothing so frustrating that a nice bacon sandwich won’t make it all go away, right?
-thanked god that i have 844 cable channels. cursed his name when i remembered that there is never anything worth watching on any of them. seriously, not a single one. put on telemundo and hit the mute button. left it on like that for hours. no idea why.
- stared into pantry looking for something to eat. see nothing appealing, despite enormous amount of food. close pantry door. open pantry door again moments later, as if pantry elves would have magically replenished food supply with yummy pre-prepared goodness. stunning disappointment. evidently, pantry elves are without four-wheel drive vehicle.
- spent 20 minutes layering clothing onto body in preparation for going outside to snap even more artsy snow photos [ed. note: but these would be nighttime photos. totally different than the previous daytime437 snow photos.].I managed to get myself out the door [dispite the fact that when i *brilliantly* opened the sliding door, 18 inches of snow fell into my kitchen, which i tried to *push* back in, while yelling (at the snow) No!No!NO! Go Back!!Fuck you snow!" -theres an enjoyable mental picture for ya- ] into the freezing-ass night only to discover that the battery in my digital camera is kaput after having snapped 437 snow photos earlier that day.
- blogger: errors publishing new posts. yahoo games: page cannot load me: trying to send hate mail to both services, and having aneurysm because, after pressing send, i receive a message that the hotmail server is too busy to send my message.
-briefly consider taking more snow pictures to distract myself.
i did learn one very important thing, though: never underestimate the simple goodness of a bacon sandwich. at some point in my life, somebody convinced me to stop eating bacon.
probably for health reasons or some such nonsense.
whatever, people.
bacon is the nectar of the gods and i shall never again be denied its smoky goodness.
well, one of my neighbors parked beside me is not only inconsiderate, but also stupid.
a combination which, in this case, worked to my advantage. i’ve suspected that they are all one french frie short a happy meal for a while now, but when she decided to start shoveling snow at about 10:00 last night, it didn't take long for my suspicions to be confirmed.
first, she shoved all the snow that was behind her car about four feet to the left so it is now behind my car. (I park on the street because if i park in the driveway my parents cant back out, she parks on the street for absolutely no reason) clearly- inconsiderate- not necessarily stupid.
then, in what can only be described as an action so stupid that it makes your brain hurt if you think about it for any length of time at all...she proceeded to pile the snow that was beside her car behind her car.
seriously. behind her own car.
so, now she can get in her car. she just can’t back it out of its parking space.
i imagine her getting all bundled up and getting in her car. then just sitting there and making vroom-vroom noises. maybe she even takes an imaginary friend with her on her little drive. and then they turn on the radio and sing along with hang on sloopy while they drive to…new mexico. and, while they're driving, they see this little taco place, and they decide to stop, because they both want to try a fish taco and they've never had one before but they hear they're amazing, but it seems to be taking a long time for their order to get ready, so they just speed away [vrooooom] and the manager of the taco place comes running out as they speed off, and he’s shaking his fist in the air at them and shouting in spanish. but she and her imaginary friend just toss their heads back and laugh about which one of them is thelma and which one is louise.
Wow i really need to get out of the house...
so, anyway, i won’t be able to move my satanic car until the spring thaw. but, hey, there’s nothing so frustrating that a nice bacon sandwich won’t make it all go away, right?
